Sharing my notes to self as I periodically reflect on my choices and actions, reminding myself to do better and revisiting where I am, is one way I clean house, let go and move forward without carrying unnecessary baggage to weigh myself down.
Affirmation: When I open myself to possibilities, all possibilities flow through beautifully.
Khudi ko kar buland itna
Ki har taqdir se pehle
Khuda bande se khud puchhe
Bata teri raza kya hai
– Allama Iqbal
Translation:
Elevate your ‘Self’ to such heights
That before each destiny
God Himself asks man
Tell me what is your wish?
State what you want to the universe in a gentle, loving and confident manner, having faith that it will be fulfilled in its own Divine time.
Know that if it is delayed or not granted there is a reason and something better is coming your way.
Always have faith, not just hope that it WILL be fulfilled.
Just as a parent is wise enough to refuse the child when he asks for a knife knowing that granting this wish will hurt more than help the child, similarly the Divine Parent only refuses to grant a wish because He knows that that particular wish, if granted will hurt more than help.
Having asked, open yourself to receiving instead of closing yourself because of doubt or fear of being hurt or disappointed. Open your heart with love, faith, trust and hope. Remove blocks of doubt, fear and lack of trust.
Allow yourself the time to rest, relax, rejuvenate and realign yourself. Allow yourself time to heal. Allow yourself time to back off from the rat race and get off the roller coaster once in a while. Allow yourself the luxury to realize that you are not responsible for running the world. You are but a cell in the body of God. Your job is to keep yourself healthy. Ensure that you do everything to keep the vehicle that is your body, in good running condition.
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Enjoy life and living. Do not destroy life. Realize that when something has run its course, you need to let go. God is not punishing you by destroying something in your life. He is merely preparing and teaching you to learn that in the natural course of life this happens, only to be replaced by new things…just as the leaves dry and fall off every fall so the trees can conserve their energy all through the winter to prepare for regrowth in the spring.
Life is dynamic. It is ever growing. It is a journey, not just a game of connect the dots, going from one destination to another. The journey between the destinations is a major part of living. Have goals and work to get to them, but don’t stop living in between. Or, do not live only to achieve the goals. Enjoy working towards the goal for that is where most of the learning and growth takes place.
Live in love, not in fear. Love of the universe. Love of the people. Love of good relationships. Not love of collecting things for that is based in fear. Enjoy good things. Enjoy beautiful things, but do not love them, for if you do, you will fear losing them. Once you have fear, you drive out love.
Get organized and structured. Use the diary and calendar to plan, schedule and keep track of activities. Not to control your life but to free yourself from constantly trying to remember and fear forgetting commitments. Use this tool wisely to utilize your time and energy more efficiently. In addition to planning meetings and appointments, make sure you include rest breaks and holidays and family time.
It is important to learn how to be a savvy, polite, courteous and considerate consumer. This means doing so as you shop, travel, go to school, go to work…and interact with salespeople and service providers. Remember they are human and they also have good and bad days. They are there to help you but not be the target of your anger or frustration. By all means complain and express your frustration with bad service or rude behavior, but be sure to do it only to the extent that it gives them enough information to become aware of it, so they are able to resolve the issue. If you also start venting and flying off the handle, you not only fail to resolve the issue at hand, but you create new ones and aggravate people who could help you.
Me Before Mine
Take care of ‘me’ before everything and everyone that is ‘mine’.
By taking care of others first, we ignore ‘our’ problems and feel noble doing it. There is an arrogance in that as well as a little self-deprecation that implies ‘I am less important than you are’. This is a way of turning a blind eye to our shortcomings because it makes us feel better than others. I have no shortcomings because I don’t see them. I am noble because I take care of everyone else, since they have shortcomings and need my help…in fact they depend on my help.
When we are directed to take a look at our shortcomings, so we can assess what we need to improve and heal or change in ourselves, we feel exposed. After all, if we can see our shortcomings, if we acknowledge them, others will see them too and think less of us.
But imagine a world where people remember that ‘improvement’ begins with ‘I’ and take care of themselves first. As the crew instructs us on a flight – ‘In case of emergency, secure your own oxygen mask first, before helping others.’
Remember if you are dead, you are no good to anyone else.
If we each worked to heal ourselves first and made ourselves whole and then reached out to others, we would not only be helping them from a better perspective, but would not keep them debilitated or feeling helpless, weak and dependent. It doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect before you can reach out, but being aware of our weaknesses, will make us more compassionate towards others as we help them, rather than being impatient or judgmental.
Focusing on positive actions of others instead of pointing fingers at their negative acts will motivate them to be better and do better. They will be less defensive and be more open to trying again if handled with compassion and forgiveness.
Be selective, but give second chances. A great example of that is a show on Animal Planet titled “Pitbulls and Parolees”, where this family lovingly re-trains misbehaving pitbulls and compassionately gives newly released parolees a chance to reinstate themselves into society by giving them a chance to prove themselves by working with the pitbulls. They all have to step up and prove their commitment to better behavior and choices. Everyone deserves a second chance, and depending on the genuine effort made, if they fall off the wagon even a third chance. Everyone is fallible and makes poor choices at some point in their lives. Often tough love is essential, to make sure that compassion is not mistaken for weakness that they can misuse and take undue advantage of.
Learning to receive graciously is as important as learning to give generously.
